In our culture, boys and men learn that in order to become a “real man” they need to be:
- Independent, self reliant, tough, and aggressive
- Not express vulnerable emotions such as fear, sadness, or hurt,; and
- Avoid and reject all things that are deemed “feminine”
These mandates are often called the “boy code”, the “male code,” or the “masculinity code.” Every boy and man learns the code and adheres to it in more or less extreme ways throughout their lives.
As a clinical psychologist, as well as a husband and a father, I notice that these internalized messages about how to be “a real man” get in the way of men being more fulfilled in their relationships with themselves, their partners, and their children.
My work with men is geared towards helping men better understand the negative impact of the “boy code” and to support them in becoming more effective, healthy, and productive individuals, partners and parents.
For further reading about this, please see the articles “Raising Boys to be Emotionally Healthy” and “Men, Masculinity, and Marriage”.
Specific Issues Addressed in Working with Men
- Relationship difficulties
- Sex and intimacy issues
- Addictions (substance abuse, pornography, etc.)
- Fatherhood and parenting
- Life transitions (career change, marriage, divorce, retirement, etc.)
- Anger management
- Social anxiety and dating
A Few Words About Therapy for Men
Many men avoid therapy because they think that they might feel uncomfortable with the focus on vulnerability and feelings that is usually associated with therapy. But therapy for men doesn’t have to be always that way.
With an understanding of the unique needs that men have, I provide a male-friendly environment that focuses on helping men benefit from therapy. This male-friendly setting includes a collaborative approach in setting the goals and objectives of therapy, as well as the tone and language used in the process.
If you have any other concerns, I invite you to contact me so that we can further discuss how we can make the therapeutic experience work better for you.